Thursday, May 04, 2006

Quick, Lower Their Expectations!

I really don't like my math class. It goes on, and on, and on, and the examples are endless and largely pointless, and the prof just keeps on talking. Sometimes, he likes us to talk about moral issues, like genetic testing, or the fact that retarded people are worth just as much as geniuses, or (my personal favorite) whether or not we should legalize homosexual marriage. I keep waiting for him to bring up abortion. I'm not really sure what these issues have to do with mathematics, but I'm sure there's a rationale somewhere. I'm sure he has a good reason for it.

Anyway, sometimes I don't go to math class. Sometimes it's because I'm in Fargo, at a theatre conference; sometimes it's because I'm in Michigan, on tour with the theatre troupe; sometimes it's because I didn't do the homework; sometimes it's because I'm angry with the world and I don't want to leave my room.

My roommate sits right next to me in math class. Sometimes she doesn't go either.

Last week, we got a math test back. Tracey and I both got A's. Prof. Westenberg began this long lecture about grades and attendance, and he put a little chart on the board, relating class days missed to the grade earned on the test. People who got A's had missed an average of two days, people who got B's had missed an average of 3 days, people who got C's missed an average of 3.4 days, people who got D's missed an average of 5 days, and people who got F's missed an average of 8 days. Then he preached about it for like ten minutes.

He said that actually, the A's really had missed almost no days; the average would have been less than one, except that two people had missed like 6 days, and they brought the average way down.

Tracey and I looked at each other, and tried really really hard not to laugh.

Bringing down the average, that's us.

I realized the other day that it must really piss him off that I get A's on the tests, because I don't do the homework either.

I never planned on becoming such a raging under-acheiver, but, as everyone comes to learn at some point in their lives, it's always much wiser to lower their expectations, and then at the last minute, punch them right in the face.

2 Comments:

Blogger Tracey said...

At least we conspicuously underachieve from the front row. We've gotta have some pretty huge growth to accomplish that. Exponentially huge.

5/04/2006 3:07 PM  
Blogger Ruthie said...

I don't know that I would call that underachieving, since you are getting A's on the tests. You're just... "disguising your awesomeness with apparent laziness." That's it. You're both geniuses that can't be bothered to complete unnecessary homework. You should be given some kind of award, or be inducted into MENSA or something.

5/04/2006 9:44 PM  

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