Do You Want to Know How I Really Feel?

(WARNING: IF YOU'D RATHER READ THE USUAL LIGHT-HEARTED, SLIGHTLY RIDICULOUS BLOG ENTRY, SKIP THE FOLLOWING.)

I'd write about it, but whatever I would say would fall woefully short of actually expressing what I feel and have been feeling for several weeks now. So, I will rely on a God who, some thousands of years ago, was thinking of how I am today when he inspired this poem:

"I am the man [or girl] who has seen affliction by the rod of His wrath. He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light: indeed, He has turned His hand against me again and again, all day long.

He has beseiged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship. He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead.

He has walled me in so that I cannot escape; He has weighed me down with chains. Even when I call out or cry for help, He shuts out my prayer. He has barred my way with blocks of stone; He has made my paths crooked.

Like a bear lying in wait, like a lion in hiding, He dragged me from the path and mangled me and left me without help. He drew His bow and made me the target for His arrows. He pierced my heart with arrows from His quiver.

He has filled me with bitter herbs and sated me with gall. He has broken my teeth with gravel; He has trampled me in the dust.

I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say, 'My splendor is gone and all that I hoped from the Lord.' I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I WELL remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him...there may yet be hope.'

For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love. For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men."

Lamentations 3:1-3, 5-13, 15-24, 29b, 31-33

So far the last little bit there hasn't quite sunk all the way in, but it is encouraging to me. If you happen to have a spare prayer on you, I could use it.