Let's Do Something PE-culiar!

(That's a line from one of my favorite cancelled Saturday morning cartoons, btw.)

We were driving on the highway yesterday (me being my mom, the two kids we were working with, and of course, me) when a white butterfly suddenly shot through the driver's side window, ran into my knee, and flew out the passenger side window. In about a second. It was very peculiar.

Well, I'm tired. Friday saw a 14.5 hour day of work for me, and Saturday gave me 10 more hours. I love the kids I work with, I really do, but after 30 hours in three days, I find myself becoming something I'm ashamed of. After a few hours of anwering the same question every three minutes, and after watching the same movie over and over and over again (Saturday we watched it for the 7th and 8th times since Thursday), I start getting frustrated and irritable. I believe I've mentioned how little sign language I speak. I'm learning more every day I work, but the challenges of trying to communicate using a language I don't know are nothing compared to the frustration of asking important questions of my charge, which invariably go unanswered. She has never answered a single question. Whether it's "Where are your glasses?" or "What do you want?" or "Are you hungry?" there is never an answer. So then I'm frustrated, because I don't know if she doesn't know enough sign herself to put together a response (Mom and I have just recently taught her how to put together more than one word in a phrase, and she only knows that one phrase), or if she doesn't know the words I'm using, or if I'm using the wrong signs, or if she simply doesn't feel like answering. She can't even answer "yes or no" questions.

And she requires my undivided attention, something I'm a little short on, when I have to be watching her active little brother at the same time. So then she'll sign "bathroom" to me, knowing that, since she needs help, I have to leave him and go with her to the bathroom, only to help her sit on the toilet and do nothing, because she never had to go in the first place. Or she'll say "eat" or "sandwich" so I'll go in the kitchen to make her some food, which she will take one bite of and then run off to get me to do some other activity with her.

And she hates her home. As soon as I get there, she'll sign "Drive?" to me, asking to go somewhere. This question she will repeat, at a minimum of every 5 minutes, even if we're already in the car. Then she'll start asking me other questions while I'm driving. Which I can't answer, or even "listen" to safely, since I have to look at her, then take my hands from the wheel to respond. Once we've gone somewhere, as soon as she realizes we're heading back home, she might start crying, or she might hit my car in anger. "What happens at home that she hates to be here?" That's the question her case manager asked me when I mentioned it to her. That's the question I ask every day.

When I leave, she stands at the door and cries. She never cries when her mom leaves. That doesn't seem normal to me. Kids are supposed to cry for their parents, not the babysitter.

Sorry for the whine session. Life really is too short to spend all of it complaining. On the other hand, it's too busy to spend all my energy keeping in all my frustration, so I figure, better to get it out in a few paragraphs and get on with funner stuff. And yes, I realize that funner is not a word. I still think "more fun" sounds stupider.