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I have a job interview today!! Woot. If I get the job, I'll be working with two little kids, a brother and sister. The girl is deaf and the boy is slightly mentally retarded. It also starts at 5:45 in the morning about 40 minutes away from here. So my enthusiasm is slightly dampened. (That's kind of an odd figure of speech, don't you think? How can your emotions get wet? And do they ever dry off? Ahh, life is full of mysteries. Perhaps this colloquialism will serve in my plan to add an air of mystery and excitement to my life...) Anyway, the interview is at one. I'll let you know how it went. Whether you care or not. Because now that you're here, you will read whatever I have written! There is no escape!! Beware the perils of Found Space!!! Mwahahaha!!!! Alright, my evil laugh sucks. I'm sorry. That totally took you out of the moment, didn't it? I mean, it was all pretty believable until that little blunder, right? My sincerest apologies if your sense of unholy fear was dampened.

Moving on.

So, for those of you who were wondering why I haven't blogged in over a week, here's a little explanation: I found a lump (hehe, lump lump lump lump--that was for my friend Tracey. Shoot. I shouldn't have clarified. It might have aided my quest for a mysterious and exciting air.) (By the way, how can air be mysterious or exciting?) and went to the doctor about it last Thursday. He was a little more concerned than he tried to let on, which made my mom and I a little more concerned...basically, by Saturday I was sure in my heart that it was breast cancer, because the longer I had to wait to find out, the more I thought about it. Add to that the fact that I just died of breast cancer onstage earlier this year, and I was kind of freaked out. I had an ultrasound on Tuesday, and I saw the offending little black blotches with my own eyes. And by "little" I mean "really-big-and-scary." The technician said right away that they were benign, and confirmed it with the radiologist down the hall, so that we could be sure before we went home. But my feeling of relief was dampened by the sight of the little buggers. And by "little" I mean "completely-unnerving-and-terrifying-despite-the-fact-that-they-are-not-cancerous." So even though my worst fears had been proven wrong, that whole day I was just a mess. It's just kind of disturbing to see things growing in you that aren't supposed to be there, no matter how non-lethal they may happen to be.

I'm better now. I'm imagining them differently, and pretending they're cute and cuddly. Not really. That's kind of weird. But I am trying to think differently about them. The whole week or so that this was bothering me, I didn't really want to blog about it, and I didn't have anything else to talk about, since that was pretty much all that was on my mind. And I didn't want to blog about this because I was afraid people would think I was being ridiculous, because you just don't get breast cancer at age 21. I didn't even want to talk about it to anyone, not even to have them pray for me, because I was afraid they'd think I was dramatising myself. (I accidentally mentioned it to one friend, simply because I didn't have anything else to talk about, and while he assured me that I was not being dumb, I'm still not sure if I'm glad or sorry I brought it up.) Plus, if I blogged about it, I'd have to swear on the internet (you know, br**st...). But I decided that the only people who read this thing are my dearest friends, anyway, and they're kind of like my family. And even if they thought I was being ridiculous, they deserved to have the opportunity to pray for me (I could still use it). And besides, what are friends and family for, if you couldn't tell them what's really bothering you? That would kind of dampen the whole spirit of community, wouldn't it?

So there you are. That's what you get for being my friends. Now I'm going to go get ready for my interview. I hope you all have lovely days, and your feelings are kept completely dry. Heart!