Spamming Reaches New Lows

So, I go to check my email today, and I get all excited because there were FIVE comments made on my last blog and I think to myself, "Wow! People like me!" but then I go to look at said comments and discover four of them are patterned after this model, or a close variation:

"Loved your Blog! Fantastic job. Hey, come visit my blog, link to some weird website, like Free Software! or DISCOVERING XBOX 360 SECRETS!"

One of them even tried to coax me into visiting their website devoted to methods for the prevention of premature ejaculation, which--I don't mean to brag--has never given me a problem.

So now I'm like, hold on a second! Spam blog comments? That's really low. There's nothing worse than tricking someone into thinking they have friends and then bringing up the awkward and, I understand, occasionally painful subject of erectile dysfunction. It's worse than being woken up from a nap by phone calls trying to get you to sign up for credit cards you don't want. What is going on with this country? It's bad enough that computers now need to be equipped with spyware protection in order to surf the web without being bombarded by pop-up ads, households need to sign up for the "No Call List" to avoid having their naps interrupted by telemarketers, and probably half of the nation's landfills are full of junk mail, but now we can't even safely use an online journal without being harassed by those wanting us to buy things we don't need or want.

This entry was going to detail the fabulous trip I just returned from, but now my anti-capitalist indignation (and the time I had to take deleting the unwanted comments) has used up the half hour I gave myself to blog before getting stuff done. I say Thoreau had the right idea. If you want me, I'll be in some obscure wooded area, eating roots and berries.